Should I be ashamed of my failure?

 I initiated the discussion about my GPA in the core course with Brian. I just asked for permission to retake the Meteorology Dynamics because I am confident that I can get a higher score. It was all okay until Francina mistakenly copied the email to one of my friends, Priyanka. She knew about my GPA and decided to discuss this with me. 

I am at peace with my GPA, but suddenly, she brought it up again. I mean that's my business, Brian's business, or other faculty members' business. Why did she ask if I was okay? 

I achieved great things this semester, as I raised my GPA to 3.18 and earned A's in all my elective courses. Of course, I will be okay, but suddenly someone came up with one question: "Are you okay?" OF COURSE I AM. 

It feels like she judged me, or she sees me as a less capable student. I do not like this feeling, but that's how I interpret her question. She is a good friend, but I don't like it when she does not consider the boundary between us. My GPA is my business; only I and authority faculty members can talk about that. I mean, I do not even talk about this with my parents. Well, I talked to Fitri because she was my teacher, and she was wise, and she never asked if I was okay. 

Maybe, one day, I can understand why she discussed this with me. Maybe, I hope so

NB: I am not arrogant, and I hope I will never be. This is part of my self-defense; I try to keep up my resiliency. I achieved great things. I dislike it when people look down on me just because the result was bad. I was doing good. My GPA rises significantly.


Alia


Here’s the middle ground:

You can hold both truths at once:

  • “Her words made me feel uncomfortable.”

  • “She probably meant well and didn’t intend to hurt me.”

You don’t have to invalidate your own reaction just because someone had good intentions — and you also don’t have to assume the worst about them just because their words landed wrong.


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